Dec. 3-9 chapter 16

Why do you think people have such negative views of conflict? Do you think that as people know more about conflict, they fear it less? Why or why not? I think people have negative views of conflict because in our society the word conflict is generally associated with hardships, obstacles, and undesirable circumstances. Additionally, many people view conflict in an unfavorable light because they are in fact scared of dealing with conflict, either due to their unpreparedness in conflict resolution, or a thought process that leads one to try and avoid problems instead of solving them. I think that when people know more about conflict and how to approach situations with a level head and actually listen to the person with whom they are engaged in a conflict with, then they fear conflict less. In some cases, people may actually embrace a conflict because they feel like they have an adequate solution to the conflict. Dealing with more conflict can better prepare one to face similar situations in the future. If one has been in a certain situation and they can recall how it went down, and how the other person reacted, it will help them decide how they should go about handling the situation the second time around.

Oct.28-Nov.4th Chapter 12

When it comes to making accurate attributions that have come in handy, I can say that I am a pretty good judge of character and I can tell a lot about someone by how they carry themselves. As a spanish speaker I often find myself in situations where I can use my spanish, however I don't want to be rude and assume that someone can speak spanish simply because they look like they do. In situations like this, if I hear someone speaking spanish, and if I get the vibe that the person with whom I'm going to interact is more comfortable speaking spanish, then I will use my spanish. Often times, the people who I speak spanish to are surprised because I don't look like I can speak spanish, and ironically, that is them making negative attributions about me, because they assume I only speak english.

Oct. 29-Nov. 4 Chapter 12

I have made some pretty bad assumptions and attributions about people in my day, but I remember specifically one with my ex. I had come to visit her at her dorm and we were hanging out just watching TV and I said something along the lines of "you look tired". She got really upset and started explaining to me how she'd been working really hard in school, and at work, and that if I was going to call her ugly then I should find another girlfriend. Needless to say the argument escalated quickly, and I was trying to defend myself while I was getting angry, and I made the mistake of saying "you must be on your period". She went off. From relaxing, watching TV one minute to full out yelling at each other in minutes. In hindsight, it was my fault, let's be honest, no girl wants to be told they look tired and then be told their mad because its their time of the month.

Oct 22-28 Chapter 9 Managing Face

A lot of people post things to Facebook that they regret later. The repercussions from the post vary, but they are often directly related to the scale in which they are projected. Many athletes have faced fines, suspensions, and been ordered to meet with league representatives because of their posts on Facebook and Twitter. There is a football analyst on ESPN named Herm Edwards and one of his famous sayings when he debates over athletes using social networking sites is, "Don't Press Send!". It is a simple solution to the problem when one evaluates the situation. The actual process of writing out ones frustrations and allowing some sort of self expression style of release is achieved by simply writing down what one feels. However, when published online for the world to see, it then becomes open to scrutiny and other issues arise. Conflict can be sparked from anything, however, by not using Facebook and Twitter as a platform to air ones dirty laundry, many conflicts can be avoided.

Oct. 22-28 Chapter 9 Managing Face

When it comes to how I represent myself on Facebook I'm fairly conservative. I am friends on Facebook with my family members and I don't want to impress poorly upon them, or have them see something that they don't approve of. Also, a lot of employers check the Facebook pages of their employees as well as potential hires. Having questionable content on your Facebook can come back to hurt you in the long run, that's why it is important to use the privacy filters so that if there is some content you don't want to share with the world, and only want a couple people to see it, you can do that. There have been plenty of times when I have posted something on a whim and either immediately deleted it, or thought about it for a while and taken it down. Facebook and Twitter are dangerous platforms because they give the satisfaction of instantly getting your problem off your chest, however once its posted, everyone can see it and make assumptions or comments whether they be constructive or destructive.

Oct. 22-28 Chapter 9 Managing Face

Facebook is a really great tool in our technology driven era, but it is like a chainsaw. Effective and great for certain jobs, but it can be destructive as well. I know many people, as well as myself personally, whose romantic relationships have been ended due to issues with Facebook. I tend to use Facebook to interact with my friends and family. It is also an outlet that can be used to express my feelings and thoughts. Posting too much on Facebook however can be seen as needy for attention, or can give the impression that the person has too much time on their hands, and are seeking approval. People who post a lot to social networking sites are trying to improve their positive face by seeking support from their peers who they hope will show interest and recognition of their post. By posting absurd amounts of content on social networking sites the consequences that the poster faces are the opposite of what they initially sought. Often times when people think someone is on their timeline or twitter feed too much, they simply unfriend or unfollow that person.

Week 5 Chapter 4 Question 1

Removing yourself from a hostile situation, and having the ability to look at conflict and difficult situations from an unbiased perspective is an extremely difficult task. Emotions often get the best of people and they resolve their issues, or attempt to resolve their issues off impulse reactions and often times this is the worst solution. Personally, I react very quickly to conflict because I want it to be resolved in the quickest manner possible, however, speed is not always the best solution. The most important step in resolving conflict is the "time out" because its during this step that one can come up with a plan of attack, and organize thoughts to most effectively resolve the conflict at hand. Conflict and hostility are some peoples biggest fear because it often times breeds awkward situations and not knowing how to react or how what to say in hostile situations can be defeating.

Week 5 Chapter 4 Question 1

The best advice I can give someone who struggles with this step as mightily as I do, is come up with your personal “time out”. Whatever strategy works best for you, and no matter how long it takes. Go to the gym, read the newspaper, grab a bite to eat, whatever activity helps you to grasp the entire conflict, because only then can one move onto the next stage. My way of taking a time out is going to the gym. At the gym I can tune out the world, listen to my music, and focus on a task separate from the conflict, while still pondering ways to resolve it, once I fully understand the entire conflict. My mom on the other hand, likes to take her dog for a walk to clear her head and to fully analyze the situation. I noticed that often times when she gets into an argument or debate with my dad, or me, she excuses herself from the situation and walks her dog to get some fresh air, and be alone with her thoughts.

Week 5 Chapter 4 Question 1

I have personally found, as well as been told, that my biggest problem when it comes to resolving a conflict is that I get too far ahead of myself. I feel as though I am a fairly level-headed individual, as well as a good problem solver and mediator. However, my biggest problem is that I often times try and come up with solutions before the entire situation has been presented to me. In some instances, my resolution would be completely satisfactory and pertinent to the conflict, however, in other situations my resolution may be destructive or actually the opposite of what is needed to resolve the problem. Completing the first step in the S-TLC model is the most important because it allows one to completely gather all of the information needed to proceed to the next step which is “think” or as stated in the book, and more appropriately named, “analyze”.

Hello mates!

Hello everybody,

This is my 1st blogging experience, and similarly to many aspects of my life, I have shown up late to this realm as well. This is supposed to be an introductory blog, or a little look-in as to who I am.

In that case, I am a 5th year senior at SJSU, this is one of my last classes I need before I am a graduate of this somewhat fine institution. I am a RTVF major with a COMM minor, I know, scintillating stuff. I was born and raised in San Francisco and I honestly believe growing up in the heart of one of the greatest cities on earth provided with me more insight, knowledge, and overall understanding of a variety of cultures and ethnic groups. And with that encompassing knowledge, I can adapt to different situations and exchange information more fluidly with more people.

That's all for now folks.